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addslashes() will never be the same

Posted on 22 August 2004 by Demian Turner

Via Jellybob on #php:

<Noel4DMB> lets say theoreticaly, I wanted to kill someone with a PHP command. what’s the best one to use? str_replace(“gaping_hole”,”heart”,$person); /
<BB[AtWork]> $person->stabinheart($knife)
<TML> Noel4DMB: I’d go with explode()
<Touqen[BX]> Noel4DMB I prefer: $cs =& new Chainsaw(); $person = new Person(); $cs->slice($person);
<BB[AtWork]> nice TML
<Davey> TML: I think implode() would be better, less mess ๐Ÿ™‚
<TML> heh
<TML> Davey: He said the best, not the cleanest
<Touqen[BX]> slice() is nice too
<TML> Although it WOULD be cool to see someone implode
<shadfc> chomp()
<BB[AtWork]> while ($person->stillBreathing()) { $knife->apply($person->GetPart(“chest”)); }
<Davey> implode is definately best ๐Ÿ˜‰
<kuja> woot!
<kuja> ๐Ÿ˜›
<kuja> explode() isn’t so bad either.
<kuja> chown() the mofo.
<Jellybob> $person->removeNode(‘head’);
<Noel4DMB> hmm
<Talisman> reduceToBlobOfNuclearWaste()
<TML> Noel4DMB: How about addslashes()?
<Noel4DMB> hah addslashes
<TML> =)
<TML> Or chunk_split()
<shadfc> might want to do a crack_check() and rob them first though
<Davey> how to fire a BK employer: stripTags($person) ๐Ÿ™‚
<TML> Noel4DMB: How about leak()
<TML> I guess that’d only kill you if you were a spy.
<Jellybob> TML, I dunno, leaking tends to kill most people if they do it long enough
<HolyGoat> or if you intend to keep your pants dry
<Noel4DMB> $noel = addslashes(str_replace($bomb,$stomach,$TML))
<jfarrell[a]> TML, probably, but if you live in the USA the death process would take 20 years
<jfarrell[a]> ๐Ÿ™‚
<Noel4DMB> so if i wrote that correctly, i put a bomb in your stomach and slash the crap out of you
<TML> There’s chop()
<shadfc> does in_array return true of a key contains or equals the search value?
<HolyGoat> and chunk_split()
<Jellybob> TML, what, are you trying to drive yourself insane, causing you to kill your other selves now?
<Noel4DMB> str_repeat(‘stab_jellybob’, 99);

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